Nervous System Check-up

Do you ever enter a conversation with someone - especially someone you love - and they say something that immediately makes your body tighten, your heart pound, and your hands sweat and shake? Have you ever responded to a comment from someone, and they were taken aback by how fiercely you answered?

There is a place for fierceness, don't get me wrong. If someone is actually verbally attacking you, you might need to be fierce if you can't just leave. But what about the times where it's actually something much deeper... like a dysregulated nervous system.

I was in fight-or-flight mode for a long time before I a) went to therapy and processed my old trauma and b) learned how to engage my parasympathetic nervous system. Being stuck in this place where I always thought whoever I was engaging in conflict with was out to get me, was exhausting. I was constantly fighting with my partner, and getting so frustrated and hurt that I would often end up leaving the house.

My system was down. I was so dysregulated that my body couldn't tell the difference between past trauma, and what was currently happening. If there was even a hint of similarity between the current topic and the old one, I was triggered. This resulted in so many misunderstandings and long fights.

I felt misunderstood, alone, and angry.

The video I'm going to share with you with this post will not help you process trauma or heal childhood wounds. That is work for you to do with a therapist. It will help you deal with what's happening right now. I found all these practices really helpful for me as I slowly came out of fight-or-flight and my system regulated.

Sharing my triggers vulnerably with loved ones (who I knew I could trust) was also very helpful. It deescalated conversations or arguments when I could express why I was having a physical/emotional reaction to something they didn't intend for me to react to.

Have you tried these tactics before?